While traveling on the open road around this great land of ours one of the biggest challenge as members of the riding fraternity has always been how to get a decent meal by the roadside or better yet in the room at the Econo Lodge late after a long day in the saddle.
For years riders have been banished to junk food like cookies, chips, sunflower seeds, or snack cakes. For the more accomplished, a bag of Jerkey, a granola bar or maybe a soggy banana were thrown in to keep it a little more healthy. But frankly, it was nearly impossible to satisfy your hunger without a full assault on the local Waffle House.
Several issues added to this two wheeled dilemma, One space available on the bike, Two Ice to store food stuff, Three, H2O to add to the ingredients, and equally important Lack of Heat.
More times than not even the ambitious were left having a few fruit loops in a drink cup with some boxed soy milk that really didn't taste like that Golden Guernsey we're so used to at home. Of course even this lame excuse for Milk needs refrigeration after opening ..so even the lame is short lived as boxed milk needs to be eaten fast or travel down the drain. Failure to heed these warning will surely result in a two wheeled trip to the ER..
One of our specialties that filled many a empty stomach under the soggy underpass on a lonely Interstate afternoon was peanut butter and crackers. You put a jar of jiff together with a plastic fork and a cracker and the result is Peanut bliss maybe better than mom used to make.
Of course somewhere back in the Crow magnum era, we discovered that heat was important to tasty food and we began to create heat as best we could.
For more serious riders, canned meats like that old stand by Spam helped many a lonely biker make it through the night and once in a while with a little imagination, you could even figure out a way to get some heat on the meaty treat. With that warm Spam and a Ritz or even maybe the bouquet of a delicious warm Vienna sausage on a basil Trisket in the moonlight over your Harley in no-wheresville Kansas mmm Yummy
Of course you could always buy some hot dogs at the local Jiffy-Mart and heck, everyone knows those ball parks can last a few hours in your shirt pocket. Add a little temperature and your off to where I'm not sure but I'm sure it's not pleasant.
With a few primitive tools, and a match, you could make those red hots almost palatable.
Or maybe you could score a little ice and keep Mr. Salmonella at bay for a few hours.
Hey you might even add some turkey or roast beef to the mix with some nice chardonnay chilled to that perfect temperature of 59 degrees
Sometimes bikers use the McGuyver method and invent something really ingenious that can add heat. Not always are these methods really safe but what do a bunch of scooter trash slackers know about equipment safety? Please kiddys, don't try this at home
Now back to the Ice, To keep fresh food long enough to get a few meals from it, you must have one more valuable commodity, Ice. The problem is it doesn't keep well on your Gold Wing.
Of course with the convenience of most motels today, the modern microwave make the possibilities grand. Add to that instant heat element a long list of prepackaged foods not needing refrigeration, the possibilities become almost endless. Now you can heat that hot dog, add a little seasoning with Tabasco and Yippee, the same dog that Mommy makes at home in Happyville USA. Recently many of the foil packets of meat and seafood have made a tuna on Trisket or chicken chunks on a ritz easy as saddlebag warm peanut butter.
Some really tasty dry foods are available that don't need refrigeration, keep the possibilities coming with favorites like Ramen Noodles. Dry soups, or canned soups with easy opening cans are designed for microwave use and taste amazing compared to the old micro stuff. You can cook Campbell's Chunky soups or the old standby Chef Boyardee, and it all tastes quite good. And if you haven't discovered Micro popcorn, or kettlecorn, shame on you Mr. Redenbacher is very disappointed.
Breakfast treats like Co Co wheats, hot chocolate, herbal teas, and instant oatmeal make your regular biscuit and Quaker Oats quite easy.
Add some condiments like honey, or jelly borrowed from the local Waffle house to your breakfast treat and your good as being at home. In Momma's kitchen.
Another appliance that has become a regular in the local Holiday Inn Express is the Mr Coffee. For years I have been enjoying a hot cup of Jo to later rinse out the pot and brew a warm bowl of instant quaker oats.
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